moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
