Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
