I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
