I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
