White coat. Heels.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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