mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
