somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
