there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
