Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
