You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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