Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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