the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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