Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
