I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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