I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
