Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had to cum in my sink.
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