I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
