Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
