One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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