I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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