Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
