man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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