We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
