You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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