hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
