wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
