i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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