I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
