If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
