you would pick up someone in the library
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When are your genitals available?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
