Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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