it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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