P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
