You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
