we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
