This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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