I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
