the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
