just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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