I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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