if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
