That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
