Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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