nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
