An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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