your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
