I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
