The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
