nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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