Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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